Laugh tills Jesus Comes
Wahala…Okon is in lover boy mode
12 views, 6 hours ago
God don save Akpors this time
-1 points, 13 views, 6 hours ago
Akpors had a girlfriend who was stunningly attractive, and his girlfriend had a sister who was more attractive.
Just a day before their wedding, Akpors visited his girlfriend, he saw no one but his girlfriend’s sister. While checking the wedding invitation together, She suddenly said to Akpors,
SISTER: “Come and keep me company.” while slowly undressing. She continued, “I’m going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.”
Akpors was stunned and frozen in shock as he watched her go up the stairs. His head ‘scattered’ as he watched her enter the bedroom naked. He stood there for a moment, thinking of what to do. There was no one else at the house. Suddenly he turned and made a beeline straight to the front door.
Akpors opened the door, and headed straight towards his car. Lo and behold, his entire future family was standing outside, all clapping! With tears in his eyes, his father-in-law hugged him and said,
FATHER-IN-LAW: “We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn’t ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.”
Akpors who was stunned started murmuring,
AKPORS: “Thank you Ejiro.Thank you Ejiro” under his breath.
It was Ejiro who told him to always keep his condom inside his car.
Just a day before their wedding, Akpors visited his girlfriend, he saw no one but his girlfriend’s sister. While checking the wedding invitation together, She suddenly said to Akpors,
SISTER: “Come and keep me company.” while slowly undressing. She continued, “I’m going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.”
Akpors was stunned and frozen in shock as he watched her go up the stairs. His head ‘scattered’ as he watched her enter the bedroom naked. He stood there for a moment, thinking of what to do. There was no one else at the house. Suddenly he turned and made a beeline straight to the front door.
Akpors opened the door, and headed straight towards his car. Lo and behold, his entire future family was standing outside, all clapping! With tears in his eyes, his father-in-law hugged him and said,
FATHER-IN-LAW: “We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn’t ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.”
Akpors who was stunned started murmuring,
AKPORS: “Thank you Ejiro.Thank you Ejiro” under his breath.
It was Ejiro who told him to always keep his condom inside his car.
When there’s another ‘breaking news’ trending on twitter
15 views, 6 hours ago
When you check your balance after december flexing
14 views, 7 hours ago
A bug and Akpors
8 views, 7 hours ago
Every night, Akpors would go down
to the liquor store, get six bottles of beer, bring them home, and
drink it while he watched TV. One night, as he finished his last beer,
the doorbell rang. He stumbled to the door and found a six-foot
cockroach standing there. The bug grabbed him by the collar and threw
him across the room, then left.
The next night, after he finished his 4th beer, the doorbell rang. He walked slowly to the door and found the same six-foot cockroach standing there. The big bug punched him in the stomach, then left.
The next night, after he finished his 1st beer, the doorbell rang again. The same six-foot cockroach was standing there. This time he was kneed in the groin and hit behind the ear as he doubled over in pain. Then the big bug left.
The fourth night Akpors didn’t drink at all. The doorbell rang. The cockroach was standing there. The bug beat the snot out of Akpors and left him in a heap on the living room floor.
The following day, Akpors went to see his doctor. He explained events of the preceding four nights. “What can I do?” he pleaded. “Not much,” the doctor replied. “There’s just a nasty bug going around.”
The next night, after he finished his 4th beer, the doorbell rang. He walked slowly to the door and found the same six-foot cockroach standing there. The big bug punched him in the stomach, then left.
The next night, after he finished his 1st beer, the doorbell rang again. The same six-foot cockroach was standing there. This time he was kneed in the groin and hit behind the ear as he doubled over in pain. Then the big bug left.
The fourth night Akpors didn’t drink at all. The doorbell rang. The cockroach was standing there. The bug beat the snot out of Akpors and left him in a heap on the living room floor.
The following day, Akpors went to see his doctor. He explained events of the preceding four nights. “What can I do?” he pleaded. “Not much,” the doctor replied. “There’s just a nasty bug going around.”
Four sons
1 points, 6 views, 7 hours ago
Four gents go out to play golf
one sunny morning. One is detained in the clubhouse, and the other three
are discussing their children while walking to the first tee.
“My son,” says one, “has made quite a name for himself in the home-building industry. He began as a carpenter, but now owns his own design and construction firm. He’s so successful in fact, in the last year he was able to give a good friend a brand new home as a gift.”
The second man, no to be out done, tells how his son began his career as a car salesman, but now owns a multi-line dealership. “My son is so successful, in fact, in the last six months he gave his friend two brand new cars as a gift.”
The third man’s son has worked his way up through a stock brokerage, and in the last few weeks has given a good friend a large stock portfolio as a gift.
As the fourth man arrives at the tee, another tells him that they have been discussing their progeny and asks what line his son is in.
“To tell the truth, I’m not very pleased with how my son turned out,” he replies. “For 15 years, my son been a hairdresser, and I’ve just recently discovered he’s gay. However, on the bright side, he must be good at what he does because his last three boyfriends have given him a brand new house, two cars, and a big pile of stock certificates.”
“My son,” says one, “has made quite a name for himself in the home-building industry. He began as a carpenter, but now owns his own design and construction firm. He’s so successful in fact, in the last year he was able to give a good friend a brand new home as a gift.”
The second man, no to be out done, tells how his son began his career as a car salesman, but now owns a multi-line dealership. “My son is so successful, in fact, in the last six months he gave his friend two brand new cars as a gift.”
The third man’s son has worked his way up through a stock brokerage, and in the last few weeks has given a good friend a large stock portfolio as a gift.
As the fourth man arrives at the tee, another tells him that they have been discussing their progeny and asks what line his son is in.
“To tell the truth, I’m not very pleased with how my son turned out,” he replies. “For 15 years, my son been a hairdresser, and I’ve just recently discovered he’s gay. However, on the bright side, he must be good at what he does because his last three boyfriends have given him a brand new house, two cars, and a big pile of stock certificates.”
What should we score this person?
11 views, 7 hours ago
What exactly is Akpors’ problem?
-1 points, 9 views, 7 hours ago
Akpors walked into a bar and quickly said to the Bar Man,
AKPORS: “Give me 5 shots of dry gin!”
The Bar Man looked at him and said,
BAR MAN: “Are you having a bad day?”
AKPORS: “Yes, I just found out my brother is gay!”.
The Bar Man, feeling bad for Akpors, said;
BAR MAN: “Ehya, that is a bad day. I’ll tell you what. The first shot is on me.”
Akpors thanked him, took his shots, and left. A week later the same guy came into the same bar and told the bar man;
AKPORS: “Give me 5 shots of dry gin!”.
The bar man looked at him and said,
BAR MAN: “Are you having another bad day?”
AKPORS: “Yes, I just found out my other brother is gay too!”.
BAR MAN: “That is a bad day. I’ll tell you what. The first shot is on me again.”
Akpors thanked him, took his shots, and left. The next week Akpors walked into the same bar
and said,
AKPORS: “Bar Man give me 10 shots of dry gin!”.
The bar man looked at him confused and said;
BAR MAN: “Doesn’t anybody in your family like women?”.
AKPORS: “Yes, my wife!”.
ONE WORD FOR AKPORS?
AKPORS: “Give me 5 shots of dry gin!”
The Bar Man looked at him and said,
BAR MAN: “Are you having a bad day?”
AKPORS: “Yes, I just found out my brother is gay!”.
The Bar Man, feeling bad for Akpors, said;
BAR MAN: “Ehya, that is a bad day. I’ll tell you what. The first shot is on me.”
Akpors thanked him, took his shots, and left. A week later the same guy came into the same bar and told the bar man;
AKPORS: “Give me 5 shots of dry gin!”.
The bar man looked at him and said,
BAR MAN: “Are you having another bad day?”
AKPORS: “Yes, I just found out my other brother is gay too!”.
BAR MAN: “That is a bad day. I’ll tell you what. The first shot is on me again.”
Akpors thanked him, took his shots, and left. The next week Akpors walked into the same bar
and said,
AKPORS: “Bar Man give me 10 shots of dry gin!”.
The bar man looked at him confused and said;
BAR MAN: “Doesn’t anybody in your family like women?”.
AKPORS: “Yes, my wife!”.
ONE WORD FOR AKPORS?
Sometimes traffic lights in Abuja be like…
1 points, 10 views, 8 hours ago
Hahaha…See pot calling kettle black
45 views, 9 hours ago
